I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
