did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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