Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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