I showed him my bush... on skype.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
