Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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