its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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