i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
