the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
