This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
