I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
