plz talk dirty to me
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
