omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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