I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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