I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
