My Higher Power is John Stamos
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
