I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
