i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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