She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Acid is not a monday night drug
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
