She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
