We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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