And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize