CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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