don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
