If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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