If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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