So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
