it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize