office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
