I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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