No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
