Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
