there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
