I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
