pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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