playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
