He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
