He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
