When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
