Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
