yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
