dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
