problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
