I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
