If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
