This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
