Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
