Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
