i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
