I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
