I seem to have left my pride at pride
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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