Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
