I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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