its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
