That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
