i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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