at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
