He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
