its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
