yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
