Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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