Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
