Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
