Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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