Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
