So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
