idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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