Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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